You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
