Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
