My friends, they love my intelligence
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
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