Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
