windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
