you're like a bully in the Christmas story
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
