i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
