Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
