Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
