We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
