I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
