doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
