I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I party with great urgency now.
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