So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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