I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
