Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
