Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
