Redeem this text for a blowjob
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
