Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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