My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize
