HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
