The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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