I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
