you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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