I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
