I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My liver is preforming stress tests.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
