would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
