does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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