and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
