no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
