I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
