I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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