Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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