i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
