Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
