I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
