So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
