I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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