Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
