remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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