I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
