Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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