So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
