Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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