it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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