So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
