Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
