and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
These tits shall not be calmed
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
