what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
