Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
